My experience as a SAHM.

I'll start off by saying this: I am SO blessed, you guys. I have only had to spend a few short months of my motherhood going to school and working. My oldest son is 4 and my youngest just turned 1. And I have not missed very much of their lives because I have had to work, and I am very happy to be able to say that. BUT! Let's get real for a minute, mamas. We all know that being a Stay At Home Mom is a job.

It's a full-time, 24-7, no holidays, no breaks, no sick days, up-all-night, abusive, stressful, tiring, and wonderful job. 

Now, before I go on to tell you about some of my "driving the struggle bus" moments, I want to say that working moms are amazing, too. You guys have TWO jobs, and you don't always get to be with your kids as much as you like, and I know you beat yourselves up so badly over it. Please, stop doing that. You should all be proud and know that anyone with any sense doesn't look down on you, but they respect you. I can't tell you how many times I have said, "I HAVE TO GET A JOB! I need to do something! I'm losing it!" And then about an hour or so passes and I realize how selfish and awful I sound because I know there are working moms who wish they could be in my shoes, and that I take so much for granted. Cheers to you, working mommies!! You da bomb!

Okay, now that I've gotten all of my disclaimers out of the way...let's get down to business. Here are my top ten "Precautions of Being A Stay-At-Home-Mom": 

1. Your house will NEVER be clean enough. I'm going to blame this on Pinterest, and all of the silly, UNREALISTIC ideas that they flood our minds with. No, ma'am it's not possible to "Keep your house spotless in 10 minutes a day or less!" Get out of here with that! And stop showing me pictures of your house that you took when your kids were gone to their grandparents for the weekend, because I KNOW you did not do all that with those kids there. These are the chores that I am realistically able to get done daily: dishes and laundry. Wiping, swiping, sweeping, dusting, mopping...none of that will get done and then last long enough to prove that you actually did it. I mean, don't get me wrong, you have to do those things to keep a clean house, but just don't expect it to stay spotless for more than about 2 minutes. This alone is enough to drive a woman mad! And also...you will pick up the SAME mess more times that you will be able to recall within about 4 hours. 
2. You lose the ability to speak. Have you ever gotten tongue tied and mixed up your words or forgotten someones name? That happens to me about 200 times a day. In my house, I have a husband, 2 sons, and a puppy (and a fish but for the purpose of this article, he can be left out). At any point in time, if I get upset at any of them, I start to say ONE of their names and it comes out like this, "Ke...Jac...ugh..Stit...LIAM!!!" It is the most frustrating thing ever when you know who you mean to yell at, but your brain can't catch up. This is a phenomenon caused by motherhood, and it is irreversible. 
3. You WILL be judged. I don't care if you are that mom who gives their kid a bath every night (I don't, I shoot for every other night..ha!) and your kid knows how to multiply by the age of 4 (mine doesn't.) Someone will always be better than you. Yes, even you strict, serious, "perfect" moms...there's still someone out there who is crazier than you. Stop beating yourself up over what they're "supposed" to be doing or the things that they "need" to know before Kindergarten in accordance to Google. It will come. Your hair will be lost, but their education will happen. All in due time, my dear.
4. You will feel lonely. Sure, you are surrounded by chaos and noise, dirt and demands at all times, but when it's coming from a toddler, it doesn't count as communication. We NEED adult time. We need to be talked to in a normal voice. We need to be able to sit down from time to time without having to get up and retrieve an item that is perfectly within their reach. We need to complete a task without someone yelling at us about how "mean" or imperfect we are. We need to be able to have a conversation. Like, a real one. With sentences and stuff. And we need to feel like we are part of the world outside of our mommy job. ARE YOU LISTENING, DADS? 
5. You will not be able to control your emotions. I'm not sure if it is the hormonal imbalance or just the pure, sickening love that you have for your child, but it really screws with your head. At one moment, you are sure that you could absolutely kill your husband (simply for putting the baby's diaper on differently that you do). And then the next you are filled with so much love, joy, and thankfulness that you're not quite sure you'll be able to go on. You will. And this will probably happen for the next 20+ years. 
6. You will learn the words to EVERY Disney song ever made and sing them in public..."M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!!!" And if you do not learn these words, you will be frowned upon. And some may believe that being banished is a blessing in disguise, but what it really means is watching this "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" show on repeat for 3 hours. Even after you've learned the song. Not fair. What's worse? You will make up songs to the tune of this beat during your daily routine. "O-M-G Please stop this. N-O-W. Now! that's NOW!" Something along those lines. What's even better is when your husband makes up words to the Disney songs and they are highly inappropriate. Ha! Brilliant. 
7. You will make up curse words to cover up what you really want to say. "Horse-feathers!!" "What the Max and Ruby??" "Why the push-pop did you do that??" I mean, you can really fill in the blank with whatever you want. It never feels as good as saying the real thing. Even though sometimes the real things slip. We're not perfect!! 
8. You will partake in a scavenger hunt every day. I never cease to be amazed by the random items I can uncover throughout the house. Your kids may also decide to mess with your head and hide items and then act like they have NO idea where they are and then scream and cry like they cannot live without this item. That's a real cute game, kid. Touché.   
9. You will depend on your kids. I'm a type 1 diabetic, and I have all kinds of problems. BUT...I have two beautiful, healthy boys to look after every day, even though sometimes I need some help myself. Sure, I hate that Liam needs to know how to dial "911" before the age of five, but that is my life (he's never had to do this though, for the record). The fact that he knows how makes me feel better, in some way. But it also makes me proud to know that when I say "Mama's sugar is low.." he knows to go and get the chocolate milk or juice. He understands how to help me. I hope that compassion stays with both of them forever, even when they don't have to worry about helping their mother anymore. But that is just my example. Some moms need their kids to help them pick up because they have pains and can't always do everything they need to. Some moms have to work overnight, and can't always remember to throw an ice container in the lunch box to keep the yogurt cold. Some moms have husbands halfway around the world and just need their kids to cuddle and love them at bed time, before they turn out the lights. We need them, even if its just for something simple or for something major, we need them. 
10. You will never have any greater responsibility. You're allowed to mess up. You're allowed to yell and get frustrated. You're allowed to lose it on this job. You're not allowed to ever un-love your children. It honestly cannot happen. I've seen parents go through absolute hell with their kids and come out loving them with every fiber of their being in the end. A parent's love is like God's love: unconditional. So, sure...you had a child that was unexpected, or you had a child who is defiant, or you had a child who has a mental issue, or who cannot hear, or a child who cannot walk...it doesn't matter. You had a child. And they are yours and you are theirs. You are all they need, want, and know from the very beginning. Take pride in that, because you will never be loved like that again as long as you live. But they will grow older, and they will not always be your baby. You are who they will model their lives by in the future. Ultimately, we are sculpting everything we complain about. So we need to choose our words wisely and our actions even wiser. Because even when we don't realize it, our kids are watching and listening to us, and we need to be sure that what they're taking in is positive.

All my love,

Paige xo